| Wedding Preparations |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|07:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
Running around every week for wedding..........
I am terrified..... of the wedding becoming a complete flop.
God please help us |
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| frustrations |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|02:19 pm] |
Growing frustrations last few weeks ...... 1stly , projected budget for condo is not realisstic, after taking into account stamp fee and loans etc.... prob can only afford 800+k condo. secondly , frustrations with wedding preps, counselling, r'ship with ma/ r'ship with DD. thirdly, job stress from uncooperative (future) colleagues. also money bowl from the airport thingey gone.
as much as i try to please everyone, I fear there may come a point where I will be forced to change myself . |
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| Airport again |
[Jul. 3rd, 2009|03:24 am] |
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They are paying me 70/hr to eat cheese cake at 3 am and play viwawa for 3 hrs straight... buay tahan... *burp* * looks at my tummy*...... |
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| Airport |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|05:31 am] |
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So.... it is rather ironic that the pilot wannabe is working at Changi airport..... as a doctor..... |
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| Updatezz~~ |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|06:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
So it has been a while...
been and back from europe -- edinburgh / lake district/ london / paris... didnt pass my MRCS but had a wonderful time in europe
broke now,, need to work hard hard, earn back money
H1N1 cases now past 500 mark in singapore, and worldwide lost count liao... just got tamiflu today for prophylaxis as one of the ANs has H1N1...
Michael Jackson died 3 days ago ( 25/6/09)...... full of controversy, but I like most of his songs nonetheless...
Shylee is as cute as ever.... my daughter.... heh
did something really crazy last night before watching transformers 2 at bugis, shant elaborate :p
brother leaving singapore again soon in 2 days .... sigh
wedding preparations , to go full steam soon
housing... need to look fast
genting in 5 days ... yippee......
life is a whirlwind, and I want to be blown around together with you.... hee :) |
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| Assesments / Thoughts |
[May. 10th, 2009|01:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
and so..... it had to come... I will be 31 years old in about 8 hours time.... really feeling old old old .....
back at WPH at work now. The last 1 year has indeed been tumultous, with all the job change that didnt go through, the things happening in the family, the marraige proposal, etc etc......
Just last week, I had this notion of getting away, getting away from it all, from everything. Be like our dear fugitive friend, who swam across the causeway to malaysia where he hid from police for 1 year or so. I want to run away, I want to escape and stay in a kampung. I just want to ..... nua, do nothing.
So tiring, this life. Work work work, my last A+E shift was terrible. In fact, just saw two patients here who are re-attendance cases. Sometimes, I wonder if I am losing it, the ability to be a good doctor.
Had dinner with Pa/ma last night at Hanabi. Food was terrible. But could see the two of them were happy. Yes, I m having this cold war with her, but even I am sick and tired of it at times.
Toning down my working next few weeks. Pay going to be cut by about 2/3s for this month. Enough to survive, not much more.
Just played mahjong 2x in last 2 days .... not much net winnings/ losings. Last week lost a bit. Life is becoming so boring and routine, it's work, sleep , mahjong, play. I hardly have time to run, play soccer, go gym, swim, or do the excercises which help me destress. Mahjong is fun sometimes, but too much time has been spent on it.
I am 31 years old now. But I don't know where I will be, where I stand, what I will become on 10th May 2010, 1 year's time from now.
A wandering soul, living month by month..... |
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| Chase |
[Apr. 21st, 2009|02:44 pm] |
Chase... the english translation of Leslie Cheung's Zhui...
Listening to it at C nai last night... I really felt the words of the song in my life..... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2009|12:56 am] |
not been posting here for a while.... been doing night shift after night shift...
Money's gonna be (potentially) very good.
Upcoming trip to scotland soon.
Havent' started studying yet.... sigh
gonna have a talk next week on getting a (more) secure job with potentially lower pay than now...
Wat's going to happen? your guess is as good as mine. |
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| Tired |
[Apr. 7th, 2009|10:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
I need a break, I really really need one. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 6th, 2009|01:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
I have never been so angry and upset for a long time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2009|12:39 pm] |
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shit .... 170 dollars worth on books... 7 of them..... all bcoz of those stupid discount vouchers... |
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| Mahjong |
[Feb. 17th, 2009|10:57 pm] |
Today, was shouted at in mahjong by a good friend. Exercised great control not to retaliate, though i'm not sure i would do the same thing again if another such scenario arise.
Also reminded of the time when I got so petty and scolded DD for not washing hands when playing mahjong. Gosh. Heh , forgive me ok dd? |
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| V day |
[Feb. 12th, 2009|05:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
It's coming soon... Valentine's day. This weekend to be exact.
To me, it's just another hyped up day where the only people really happy are not the sweet couples out there, but all the businessmen/ florists laughing all the way to the bank. Still, it serves as a good point for reflections...
I have been in serious relationships for a good ten years now. Before that, it was just puppy love crushes. Till now, my ex-es, some of them are married, some going to get married, some I just lost touch with. They have each shaped me, moulded me, affected me and my expectations of love in one way or another.
Now with my dear dear, Ang Hui Jun for almost 4 years, I know that I have found the person I've been looking for all this while. To think that when I first started out in this game of looking for love, she was only sec 3! gosh!
Even as my own professional and family life is in turmoil, I never fail to find a source of courage and inspiration for my daily living in her. Having the past experience of failing in love, I promise myself I will not let this one fail. This relationship will be my last one as well.
I'm looking forward to the day where we both will say I do in front of the altar. Can't wait for the day where we have our own place, own children. ahhh.... though troubles abound, but life is still beautiful, and I feel blessed.
DD, let's watch "Life is beautiful" by roberto begnini together okay? and don't sleep through the show hor....! Also feel like having a picnic at sentosa again, something we've not done for very very long... hee |
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| Jobless |
[Feb. 12th, 2009|03:36 pm] |
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So here I am, without a job, but getting more income than what I was earning before. Strange but true...... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2009|10:20 am] |
I feel framed.
and after so long, y r u so angry when someone from my very distant past sms-es me? do you doubt me? |
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| you bloody Coward~ |
[Feb. 3rd, 2009|11:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
and so , with the dust more or less settled at all that has happened recently, and with my life entering into the next phase, I have to look back at what might have been .... if just, if only just...
If only..... I had the courage to sign on the bond, and proceed with the training...
If only.... I had paid heed to the wind and went ahead with my dreams...
If only, I had listened to my heart, and not my head..... for after all, i've been like that my whole life
now..... I know I will regret when I look back at this in 20 yrs time... how much I will regret , I don't know. But , you only live once, and I can never be 30 years old again.
Guess this is growing up? As much as I don't like her, as much as she is stubborn , as much as she has destroyed my dreams with her obstinance, despite me and stan's constant imploring of her to change her ways, she has done it again. If only she had acted faster, I would be at my dream job now.
BUT....
I know why I didn't sign.. and the reason is simple. They all need me and my borrowing power. If I were to be on 1.2k/mth, I would never have loaned enough to buy more than a 2 room HDB. In this climate, a roof over our heads is a must, who would have thought that 15 years ago we were living in a semiD with a big garden, 5000+ sq ft place, and enjoying life.
I will never be like them. I will learn from mistakes, other people's and my own. I will never be caught in a position like them in the future, as much as I like gambling and gaming. I will never let my next generation suffer as a result of my own folly.
Submitting appeal soon, not much hope... what's the next step? I really dunno |
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| Stuck |
[Jan. 29th, 2009|01:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
Here I am, stuck in my own mid life crisis.
Back from Taiwan trip, really fun trip wif DD. But when it got back, reality struck, and I couldnt help but drop a sigh, and a tear or two. Maybe it really is God teaching me a lesson. Now I only have a few things in mind... concentrate on the wedding and our new place. As for the exam, I will appeal, but deep down inside, I know what my chances are like. |
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| stay strong~~ |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|01:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pessimistic | ] |
I looked into the mirror this morning, and found more strands of white hairs. Truely, the past one year has changed me more than ever before, both physically and mentally.
Some decisions I made will always be remembered as good -- i,e, proposing to DD. Some maybe not so good--- leaving hospital. It's been a mixed bag of emotions to say the least, but i'm not really sure if I feel worse off or better off. Only time will tell, and though now it seems that my decision to leave was a wrong one, I know that I am nothing at all, nothing but just someone in part of God's almighty plan.
So help me God.
"Our father which art in heaven
Hallowed be thine name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom
and the power and the glory
forever and ever
Amen" |
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| End to 2008 |
[Jan. 3rd, 2009|01:13 am] |
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What can I say? It really is not fated isn't it. Unless........ |
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| In Love with You |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|10:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
" I will always love you....
I will never leave you....
There's no one who loves you like I do..
Come to me .. now...
I will never leave you ...
I will stay here with you ....
Thru the good and bad I will stay true.....
I'm in love... with... you..." |
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